Letters From Emmett
by CarsmeCarlislexEsme
Summary: Our Dear Friend Emmett decides to write every one in his family a special note! By Abbie, Posted by me.
1. To: Mommy and Dada

Dear mommy and dada,

There comes a day in every young man's life

Where he realizes what great things he has

I am incredibly happy to say I have a loving family;

A roof over my head, and food to consume into my body;

But however, there is one thing that is the greatest in my life,

Carlisle and Esme, that's where you come in

From the moment you brought my home,

I have always had an everlasting love for you both

Esme, I know I have broken some of your expensive imported European vases

& Carlisle, when you read this I know you will say that "some" is a definite understatement

Also I know I have caused my brothers and sisters some pain, minor pain that is

However don't ask them questions, because "minor" is probably an understatement

Beside all of my mistakes and unfortunate happenings,

It is time to reveal the truth, Carlisle and Esme.

The truth you have been keeping from the others for a long time

But I knew it all along, I just knew it, sometimes I just know these things.

I…am…your favorite child.

Beside my stunning good looks, my glossy defined muscles, and my marvelous personality,

I can run fast, jump at extreme high heights, and play baseball like you would never believe

I know I know, my brothers and sisters can do that too, BUT I CAN DO IT BETTER!!

I'm telling you, I'm your favorite.

There's no use in hiding it from the others anymore.

YOU'VE JUST BEEN EXPOSED IN THE OPEN!!

Nevertheless, I love you both.

& thank you for taking care of me.

Love your loving son, whom you love the most,

Emmett

P.S. I already told Alice, Edward, and Rosalie...........


	2. To: Eddie Kinz

Eddie Kinz-

I'm just gonna make it short, sweet, and to the point

I'm the favorite child.

Mom and dad think you're emo.

HAHAHA silly depressed kiddo.

With love,

Emmett


	3. To: My Love Rosalie

To my love Rosalie,

I hate to break this to you,

I reaaally do.

But I just had to say that I'm the favorite child

It breaks my heart to have to tell you this horrible news

[Well...horrible for you, great for me!]

I'm terribly sorry.

I hope you know I still love you

Sincerely,

Emmett


	4. To: Freako Boy Jazz

Jasper-

I'm the favorite.

Mom and dad hate you.

You're kind of creepy.

Its time to cut your hair.

Who knows what's hiding in there.

Ewww bad mental picture.

That's kind of gross.

WHY DO YOU KEEP THAT IN YOUR HAIR???

Love,

Emmett

P.S. - can you like stop staring at me?

It's freaking me out man.


	5. Ali Bo bali fe fi fo falli Ali

Alice-

My dear sister

My favorite person in the whole world

I had a talk with mother and father.

And...Well...the recent news is...

I'm the favorite of the family...

Now I know this is probably very hard to take in

And I, the favorite, am here for you

Forever and always

If you need a shoulder to cry on about this whole shindig,

I'm here...in my room...down the hall...first door on the left...

But you probably won't see me in my room...

That's when you go to the back of my room.

Go under my bed, there you will see a red button,

Press the button and a trapdoor will appear

Go down those stairs and you will see a vault straight ahead

The code is 34,63,50,74,57,48,76,58,70,96,79,36,75,89,67,5, be sure to memorize that

Then there will be a trap, one where arrows shoot out from the walls

I hope you dodge them in time.

Then IF you make it through there, go straight

Then turn left then right then left then left and then right again

And I'm in the door on the far corner to the left.

Come talk sometime!

Always and forever,

Emmett


	6. BELLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALAAAA

Dear Bella-

BELLALALALALALALAALALA

BELLA

BBBBELAALALALALAAAAA!

I'm the favorite

You are not the favorite

You never will be

You never had the chance

So HAHAHAHAHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW

Loves you

…most of the time

-Emmett


	7. Emmett

Carlisle- drmcsparkly1640:

Esme- motherunit1921:

Edward- pianoman1918:

Bella- littlelamb2006:

Jasper- puffyhairdude1886:

Alice- pixiepants1920:

Rosalie- sexybetch1933:

Emmett- favoritechild1935:

Carlisle/Emmett

drmcsparkly1640 signed on

favoritechild1935: hi daddy

drmcsparkly1640: hello Emmett

favoritechild1935: Wassssssssuuuuuuuuup father

drmcsparkly1640: Why did you write me and your mother a letter this morning?

favoritechild1935: …because

drmcsparkly1640: Because why?

favoritechild1935: I felt like it GOSH who died and made you king?

drmcsparkly1640: Your parents

favoritechild1935: THAT'S NOT FUNNY

drmcsparkly1640: I thought it was quite humorous

favoritechild1935: So I'm the favorite child

drmcsparkly1640: No quite frankly you irritate me

favoritechild1935: Irritate is another word for love

drmcsparkly1640: …whatever helps you sleep at night Emmett

favoritechild1935: But I don't sleep

drmcsparkly1640: …goodbye Emmett

favoritechild1935: BYE DADA! I heart you!

drmcsparkly1640: …k

drmcsparkly1640 signed off

Esme/Emmett

motherunit1921 signed on

motherunit1921: Emmett…I love all of my children…stop telling them I don't

favoritechild1935: But you love me most right?

motherunit1921: I love you all equally

favoritechild1935: So you hate me?

motherunit1921: No I don't hate you

favoritechild1935: Why do you hate me so much?

motherunit1921: I don't hate you Emmett

favoritechild1935: WHY IS THERE SO MUCH HATRED TOWARDS ME?

motherunit1921: Good Lord Emmett I don't hate you!

favoritechild1935: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU HUH?

motherunit1921: Goodbye Emmett

favoritechild1935: Bye mommy I love you

motherunit1921: I love you too

favoritechild1935: Liar

motherunit1921 signed off

Edward/Emmett

pianoman1918 signed on

pianoman1918: What the hell?

favoritechild1935:Hmmmm?

pianoman1918: I'm not emo

favoritechild1935: Yes you are

pianoman1918: Nor am I depressed

favoritechild1935: Yes you are

pianoman1918: How the hell would you know?

favoritechild1935: I'm psychic

pianoman1918: No that's Alice

favoritechild1935: ALICE AND I ARE POWER TWINS AND WE'RE JUST COOL LIKE THAT

pianoman1918: You dumb bitch

favoritechild1935: What does that mean?

pianoman1918: My point exactly

pianoman1918 signed off

favoritechild1935: WAIT! What point?

Bella/Emmett

littlelamb2006 signed on

littlelamb2006: I'm confused by your letter

favoritechild1935: Shhh quite yourself human

littlelamb2006: No I'm really confused

favoritechild1935: That's because you're a human…you're all stupid

littlelamb2006: You know you were a human once

favoritechild1935: Yeah but now I SUCK THEIR BLOOD MWAHAHAHAHAHAA

littlelamb2006: No you don't

favoritechild1935: DON'T BURST MY BUBBLE

littlelamb2006: …pop

favoritechild1935: Fine…be that way

favoritechild1935 signed off

littlelamb2006: Yeah…I'M the stupid one…

Jasper/Emmett

favoritechild1935 signed on

puffyhairdude1886 signed on

puffyhairdude1886: Mom and dad do not hate me

favoritechild1935: Yes they do…with a fiery passion of hatred

puffyhairdude1886: Go to hell

favoritechild1935: Make me

puffyhairdude1886: You really wanna go there?

favoritechild1935: …no…

puffyhairdude1886: And my hair is none of your concern

favoritechild1935: I have to look at it don't I? I'm gonna buy you a frickin weed wacker for that thing

puffyhairdude1886: It's not that bad

favoritechild1935: Right…it's horrible

puffyhairdude1886: Do something about it then

favoritechild1935: I WILL

puffyhairdude1886: Really Emmett? Will you?

favoritechild1935: …no…

puffyhairdude1886: Stupid

favoritechild1935: Why does everybody keep calling me stupid?

puffyhairdude1886: Pet name

favoritechild1935: Oh…I like it

puffyhairdude1886: You would

favoritechild1935: Would i?

puffyhairdude1886: What?

favoritechild1935: Muffins

puffyhairdude1886: You are so stupid sometimes I just want to crawl up in a ball and cry

favoritechild1935: Cool beans

puffyhairdude1886: …

favoritechild1935: 

puffyhairdude1886: I'm gonna hurt you

favoritechild1935: Really?

puffyhairdude1886: Yup

favoritechild1935: BRING IT

puffyhairdude1886: Suck it

favoritechild1935: Suck what?

puffyhairdude1886: Think about it…

puffyhairdude1886 signed off

Alice/Emmett

pixiepants1920 signed on

pixiepants1920: Thanks for the letter!

favoritechild1935: You are welcome!

pixiepants1920: It was quite the adventure going through your room!

favoritechild1935: I know! Isn't it fun?

pixiepants1920: For me, yes…for Jasper…not so much

favoritechild1935: What happened?

pixiepants1920: I just used his hair to block all of the pointy arrows!

favoritechild1935: Isn't it such a nice shield?

pixiepants1920: Very much so!

favoritechild1935: Everyone keeps calling me stupid today…all I did was write everyone a letter telling them I was the favorite child!

pixiepants1920: Your just keep telling yourself that

favoritechild1935: Everyone keeps telling me that too! Mom hates me too!

pixiepants1920: Really? I didn't know Mom had that ability…

favoritechild1935: YEAH! She's evil I tell you…EVIL!

pixiepants1920: Are we talking about the same mom?

favoritechild1935: I certainly hope so…5'6…caramel curls…soft curves…married to the man we call dad?

pixiepants1920: Yeah same one!

favoritechild1935: Sweet beans!

pixiepants1920: …k

favoritechild1935: Dad said that this morning!

pixiepants1920: …k

favoritechild1935: TWINZIES!

pixiepants1920:…no…goodbye Emmett

favoritechild1935: Bye sistahhh

pixiepants1920: Just no

pixiepants1920 signed off

Rosalie/Emmett

sexybetch1933 signed on

favoritechild1935: Hi!

sexybetch1933 signed off

favoritechild1935: Where did you go?

(your message has not been sent due to the fact you have been blocked by this user)

favoritechild1935: WHAAAAAAT?

(your message has not been sent due to the fact you have been blocked by this user)

favoritechild1935: COME ON!

(your message has not been sent due to the fact you have been blocked by this user)

favoritechild1935: Shit…

(your message has not been sent due to the fact you have been blocked by this user)

favoritechild1935 signed off


	8. Reactions

It was a cold, rainy day in Forks, Washington. The Cullen's were in bad moods thanks to Emmett. Carlisle took his aggression out in work.

Nurse: Dr. Cullen, why are you holding his beating heart in your hand?

Carlisle: because…it makes me feel powerful! Hehehe *stitches heart back into patient*

Nurse: um…okay?

Esme decided to rearrange all of the furniture in the entire house…

Rosalie: its really not called rearranging when you throw the furniture in random places..

Esme: *throwing a chair at Rosalie* SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Edward completely destroyed his grand piano…

Edward: PIANO IS FOR LOSERS! GO DIE PIANO GO DIE!

Esme: CLEAN IT UP BITCH.

Edward: yes mommy…

Bella became utterly confused and stopped visiting the family…

Emmett: Where is Bella? I haven't seen her lately

Edward: WELL WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!

Emmett: yes…that is why I asked

Edward: SHUT UP WHORE.

Rosalie moved out of her and Emmett's room…

*Carlisle and Esme are cuddling in bed*

Emmett: mommy I'm lonely!

Carlisle: go entertain yourself with the new yoyo I got you

Emmett: it broke…mommy can I cuddle with you?

Esme: sure Emmett

Emmett: heh heh she's my mommy now! *climbs in bed*

Carlisle: SHUT UP WHORE.

Alice discovered new ways to get into Emmett's room…

Alice: YOU MEAN THERE WAS A BACK WAY TO YOUR ROOM ALL OF THIS TIME?

Emmett:…no…..

Alice: AND I RISKED MY LIFE TO COME SEE YOU?

Emmett: maybe…

Alice: SHUT UP WHORE.

Jasper let his hair grow out even longer and bushier just to piss off Emmett…

Emmett: AHHHH IT BURNS

Jasper: WELL GOOD

Emmett: AHHHHHHH ITS EATING ME

Jasper: heh heh heh heh heh

Emmett: SHUT UP WHORE.

Jasper: wow… you don't even know what the means do you?

Emmett: no but mommy and daddy and everyone else has been saying that to me!

Jasper: SHUT UP YOU WHOREISH MALE FIGURE GO DIE IN A WHOLE

Emmett: lawlosaur

Jasper: this…means…WAR!

*to be continued…*


End file.
